Jill from Jersey
by Foley Artist
Summary: Ron meets a new girl; Shego and Frugal Lucre plot robberies.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the KP characters- however, I do own Jill from Jersey.  
  
(ESTABLISHING SHOT: Middleton High School)  
  
(Cut to the hallway. KIM, RON, and MONIQUE stand at KIM'S locker)  
  
KIM: Anyway, it was really funny. Considering they had to improvise the whole thing.  
  
MONIQUE: That can't be easy.  
  
KIM: I know. How about you, Ron? See anything good?  
  
RON: I saw X-Men 2. That was awesome.  
  
MONIQUE: Didn't get a chance to see that yet.  
  
RON: It's great. Almost as good as the first.  
  
(A GIRL (JILL) approaches them. She is tall, with long, dirty blonde hair and glasses. She wears a New Jersey Devils hockey jersey, a backwards Devils baseball cap and blue jeans)  
  
JILL: Um, excuse me. Do you know where the geometry class is?  
  
(RON stars dumbstruck at the girl)  
  
RON: Um. Uh, yeah, um, uh, um.  
  
KIM: (Cutting in) Down the hall to the right.  
  
JILL: Thank you. You are such a life saver. (Extends hand) I'm Jill, by the way. Jill from Jersey.  
  
KIM: Kim Possible, and these are my friends Ron and Monique.  
  
JILL: Wow, Kim Possible! The teen hero? You were in New Jersey a couple of weeks ago, weren't you?  
  
KIM: Yeah. I was taking back a laser that was stolen.  
  
JILL: Near the Quick Stop. My best friend has a friend who hangs out in front of there all day. He said he saw someone sneaking onto the roof.  
  
KIM: I find the need to scale a building now and then. Ron really helped me out then, didn't you, Ron?  
  
(RON just stares at JILL)  
  
KIM: So, Jill, do you cheer?  
  
JILL: Not if I can avoid it. No, I play hockey. I'm gonna try out for the school hockey team after school.  
  
KIM: That's good.  
  
RON: (Finding his voice) Hockey. I love hockey!  
  
JILL: Um, good. Well, thanks for the directions, I've got to get to class. Bye, Kim, Monique, Ron.  
  
(JILL walks off. RON stares after her)  
  
RON: (Snapping back to reality) Wait- we have a hockey team?  
  
KIM: And you've got a crush.  
  
RON: What? No I don't.  
  
MONIQUE: Yes you do.  
  
RON: I really don't.  
  
MONIQUE: Look, it's impossible for you to hide it. It's like Kim with Josh. It's extremely obvious.  
  
RON: Is it that obvious?  
  
KIM: Yeah. (Beat) Hey!  
  
RON: So, what should I do?  
  
MONIQUE: Talk to her. Maybe after hockey tryouts.  
  
RON: Yeah. Good idea.  
  
(They walk off)  
  
RON: (OC) Since when has Middleton had a hockey team? 


	2. The New Jersey Job

(ESTABLISHING SHOT: DRAKKEN'S lair)  
  
(Cut to the interior. SHEGO is looking over some plans)  
  
SHEGO: Okay... so I can jump in quickly, knocking out the security cameras. Then I can position the explosives at the door...  
  
(DRAKKEN walks past and notices SHEGO pouring over the plans)  
  
DRAKKEN: What are you doing?  
  
SHEGO: Plotting.  
  
DRAKKEN: Plotting what?  
  
SHEGO: How to corner the market for orange juice- what do you think? I'm plotting an evil scheme.  
  
DRAKKEN: An evil scheme, eh? Um, Shego, I am the evil genius here. I will plot all schemes to conquer the world.  
  
SHEGO: This isn't a take-over-the-world scheme. I'm just going to knock off a bank.  
  
DRAKKEN: Do what?  
  
SHEGO: Rob a bank.  
  
DRAKKEN: Rob a bank, eh? I don't know, that's not grand enough. I mean, acts of villainy should be big! Maybe involving the safety of the entire world.  
  
SHEGO: I'm not doing it for villainy, I just need some cash.  
  
DRAKKEN: Oh. I see. (Beat) Why exactly do you need money?  
  
SHEGO: For a new nail file. This one's reached the end of the line.  
  
(SHEGO holds up her old nail file, which has a hole scratched through it)  
  
DRAKKEN: I see. (Beat) So why don' you just rob one of those little convenience stores and get the nail file instead of stealing the money to buy one?  
  
SHEGO: Like you said, acts of villainy should be big.  
  
DRAKKEN: But you're stealing money to buy a nail file!  
  
SHEGO: Considering the end result, my efforts are huge.  
  
(Cut to Middleton High School Hockey Rink. KIM and RON sit in the stands)  
  
KIM: Looks, it's no big; when practice is over just go and ask her out. It shouldn't be that hard.  
  
RON: This is interesting advice, coming from someone who took two days to ask their crush on a date.  
  
KIM: Dance. I asked him if he wanted to go to the dance.  
  
RON: Same difference.  
  
KIM: Okay, if you're insistent on comparing your plight to mine, think about this: Josh readily accepted my invitation. It turns out that he really liked me.  
  
RON: So?  
  
KIM: So just ask her! Who knows, she might like you. One thing is certain: you'll never know unless you ask.  
  
RON: (inspired by KIM'S words) You're right! I'm going to march right down there and ask her out!  
  
(RON stands up to walk down the steps)  
  
JILL: (OS) Flying puck!  
  
RON: (To KIM) What'd she say?  
  
(A puck flies through the air and strikes RON in the center of his forehead, knocking him unconscious. He falls onto his back. JILL climbs up the steps)  
  
JILL: Sorry! It got away from me! Is he all right?  
  
KIM: He'll be fine. He's been hit harder than that. 


	3. eBay and Evil

(ESTABLISHING SHOT: The LERMAN home)  
  
(Cut to the basement. FRANCIS LERMAN (a.k.a. FRUGAL LUCRE) types at a computer)  
  
FRANCIS: Yes, I will finally be able to obtain decent weapons at reasonable prices. Thank you, eBay, for leveling the playing field.  
  
(FRANCIS TYPES)  
  
FRANCIS: Let's see... what do we have? Neuro-compliance chips, asking price $100? No way! Who is this lunatic? (squints) DrD, huh? What else? Mind- switching machine, also from DrD. Not much use for that. Hypnotic Disco Ball, from SSSBillionaire. No, no use for that. Let's see... exploding golf balls, muscle-generating ring, knight armor, but it's all so expensive! I'll have to get some money. But how? Ask for a raise? No, not at Smarty Mart, they'd never give me a raise.  
  
(A door opens OS)  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Francis? Are you on the computer again?  
  
FRANCIS: Yes, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) You're not on one of those chat rooms, are you?  
  
FRANCIS: No, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) You never know what kind of people are in those rooms.  
  
FRANCIS: I know, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Okay, I trust you. Do you need a snack?  
  
FRANCIS: No, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Are you sure?  
  
FRANCIS: I'm fine, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Okay. I'm going to run a few errands. I'm going to go to the grocery store and the bank. Do you need anything from the grocery store?  
  
FRANCIS: No, mother.  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Okay.  
  
(Door closes)  
  
FRANCIS: (To himself) Wait a second- the bank, huh? (Pause) Of course! I'll rob a bank! Ingenious! (Laughs)  
  
(Cut to Middleton High School)  
  
(Cut to the hallway. KIM and RON stand at KIM's locker. RON has a bandage on his head)  
  
RON: So what happened after I blacked out?  
  
KIM: She came up to see if there was any damage.  
  
RON: To me?  
  
KIM: No, the puck. Of course to you!  
  
RON: Well, you never know.  
  
KIM: Just ask her out already. So we can get on with our lives. Besides, you should have her sympathy now.  
  
RON: What? I need her sympathy to get a date?  
  
(KIM'S computer turns on. WADE appears on the screen)  
  
KIM: Thank you, Wade! Whatcha got?  
  
WADE: I'm tracking something that looks like one of Drakken's hover crafts.  
  
KIM: Any idea where it's going?  
  
WADE: It looks like it's going to Pennsylvania. (WADE sees RON) What happened to your head?  
  
RON: Hit with a hockey puck.  
  
KIM: Jill from Jersey lost control of a slap shot.  
  
WADE: Ouch! Well, I'll keep you posted on Drakken's activity if you keep me posted on Ron's.  
  
KIM: You got it, Wade.  
  
(The computer turns off. JILL walks up to her locker at the far end of the hall. KIM edges RON. RON walks over to her)  
  
RON: Hi, Jill.  
  
JILL: (Sick) Hi, Ron, how's your head?  
  
RON: Fine.  
  
(JILL sneezes)  
  
RON: You okay?  
  
JILL: Yeah. I think I'm coming down with something. (Sneezes) So, what do you want?  
  
RON: Um, nothing. Just, um, just hope you get better soon.  
  
JILL: Aww. That's so sweet. (Sneezes) I've got to go get something.  
  
(JILL leaves and lets out another sneeze. RON walks back to KIM)  
  
KIM: You are such a wuss.  
  
RON: Oh keep quiet. 


	4. On Their Way

(ESTABLISHING SHOT: The Sky)  
  
(A lone hovercraft zooms past the clouds. It is transporting DRAKKEN and SHEGO)  
  
SHEGO: Okay, when we get to the bank, I want you to keep a lookout.  
  
DRAKKEN: What for?  
  
SHEGO: A hot-dog vendor. I might get hungry during my elaborate break in- what do you think you're going to lookout for?!  
  
DRAKKEN: Sorry. I'm not used to being the lookout. I'm normally the one doing the work.  
  
SHEGO: Well now you get to be the muscle.  
  
DRAKKEN: Me? The muscle?  
  
SHEGO: (Thinks) Okay, here's how it'll work: You tell me if anyone's coming, then I'll drop what I'm doing and take care of them.  
  
DRAKKEN: Excellent.  
  
(The hovercraft zooms on)  
  
(Cut to the LERMAN home)  
  
(Cut to the hallway. FRUGAL LUCRE is wearing a black sweater, black pants, and black shoes and is putting on a black mask)  
  
FRUGAL: Thank goodness for my employee discounts. Otherwise I'd never be able to afford these villainous threads. But that will all change in an hour. In an hour I'll be swimming in cash! I'll be rich! And able to afford all those high-priced gizmos and gadgets! Nothing can stop me now! Nothing!  
  
(FRUGAL heads towards the door)  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Francis!  
  
(FRUGAL stops short)  
  
FRUGAL: Yes, mother?  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Where are you going young man?  
  
FRUGAL: To the movies, mother!  
  
MRS. LERMAN: (OS) Not before you wash the dirty dishes!  
  
FRUGAL: (under his breath) Curses.  
  
(FRUGAL trudges to the kitchen)  
  
(Cut to Middleton High School)  
  
(Cut to the hallway. KIM and RON stand at KIM's locker)  
  
RON: I don't know, Kim.  
  
KIM: Look, Ron. Just get it over with. Ask her!  
  
RON: But what if she says no?  
  
KIM: Then you can always say that you tried. Besides, I'm sure if Jill doesn't agree to go out with you, there are plenty of other girls in this high school who would gladly go on a date with you.  
  
(TARA and another girl walk past them)  
  
RON: Okay, I'm going.  
  
(RON walks up to JILL)  
  
RON: Um, Jill.  
  
JILL: (Bright and cheery) Hi, Ron! How are you?  
  
RON: Good. Hey, I see you got over your cold.  
  
JILL: Yeah. It must have just been a twenty-four hour bug.  
  
RON: That's good. I'm glad to see you're better. Um, Jill, I wanted to ask you something...  
  
JILL: Yes?  
  
RON: Would you- um, that is, ugh-  
  
(RON starts to walk away, but runs into KIM, who pushes him back towards JILL)  
  
RON: Um, would you, um, like to go out sometime?  
  
JILL: Sure, I'd love to.  
  
RON: (rejected, having heard what he expected) I thought not. (Beat) Wait- what?  
  
JILL: I'd love to go out sometime.  
  
RON: (ecstatic) Really?!  
  
JILL: Sure. How about some Bueno Nacho after hockey practice?  
  
RON: Great!  
  
JILL: All right. See you later.  
  
(JILL walks off. RON returns to KIM)  
  
KIM: How'd it go, Cassanova?  
  
RON: We're going for nachos after hockey practice.  
  
KIM: See? Was that so hard?  
  
RON: Yes.  
  
(WADE appears on KIM's computer screen)  
  
WADE: Kim! I'm picking up some interesting activity.  
  
KIM: How interesting?  
  
WADE: Drakken's hover craft touched down in Pennsylvania. At the Second National Bank.  
  
KIM: A bank? Isn't that a little, I don't know, uncharacteristic?  
  
WADE: That's what I thought. But I hacked into the bank's security cameras, and it's definitely them.  
  
KIM: Then we're on our way.  
  
RON: Aw, man! Now I have to cancel my snack with Jill.  
  
WADE: I already talked to her and told her.  
  
RON: Really? How?  
  
WADE: Caught her at the payphone. Explained that you had to do the sidekick thing. It's been moved to tomorrow.  
  
RON: Okay. Thanks, I guess.  
  
(WADE disappears from the screen)  
  
RON: I didn't hear a pay phone, did you?  
  
KIM: It doesn't matter. Let's go.  
  
(KIM and RON leave) 


	5. The Heist or petty excuse for one

(ESTABLISHING SHOT: The Second National Bank)  
  
(At a streetcorner across the street, a taxi cab pulls up. KIM and RON get out)  
  
KIM: Thanks for the lift, Benny.  
  
BENNY: An, no problem, kid. It's the least I could do after you prevented me from being in that accident.  
  
KIM: Oh, it was no big. Just don't drive on the sidewalk anymore, even if it is just a couple of miles and you're in a big hurry.  
  
BENNY: Sure, doll-face.  
  
(The cab screeches off. KIM and RON stand near a streetlight)  
  
KIM: Wade said that we should arrive about the same time that Drakken and Shego will.  
  
(Sure enough, DRAKKEN's hover craft lands on the roof of the bank)  
  
KIM: Okay, here's the plan- when I say so, we go after them.  
  
RON: Gotcha.  
  
(Cut to the roof)  
  
SHEGO: Okay, here's the plan- I go down, break in, blow the safe and get out. You got it?  
  
DRAKKEN: Yes.  
  
SHEGO: And what do you do?  
  
DRAKKEN: I stay in the hover craft and keep an eye out.  
  
SHEGO: Good. Then nothing can go wrong.  
  
DRAKKEN: Why do you assume that I'm such bad luck? I want to be close to the action!  
  
SHEGO: Look, Dr. D, you lead all the evil schemes, and you always slip up somehow. Just let me do my one and only scheme, okay?  
  
DRAKKEN: Fine.  
  
(Cut to the ally beside the bank. FRUGAL LUCRE stands, going over his plan)  
  
FRUGAL: Okay, I go in, get the money, and get out. It's so simple, yet so diabolical. Nothing can go wrong, I'll be swimming in money in no time.  
  
(FRUGAL darts around the side of the building to the front door. At the same time, SHEGO leaps off the roof and land in front of the front door, right in front of FRUGAL. Both are taken by surprise)  
  
SHEGO and FRUGAL: What the?  
  
SHEGO: Okay, who are you?  
  
FRUGAL: I, Madame, am a world-renown super-villain! Perhaps you have heard of me?  
  
SHEGO: Um, no.  
  
FRUGAL: Sure you have. I was responsible for the near-collapse of the Internet? The Smarty Mart incident? My face was all over TV!  
  
SHEGO: Yeah, you know, I'm not a big TV person. So, what exactly are you doing here?  
  
FRUGAL: Robbing this bank.  
  
SHEGO: Well, you're gonna have to go somewhere else, I am robbing the bank.  
  
FRUGAL: I was here first.  
  
SHEGO: So not! Besides, I've had this planned for months!  
  
FRUGAL: How do I know that? And how do you know that I didn't plan it before you?  
  
SHEGO: Okay, this is going nowhere. Tell you what, let's compare equipment. I have razor sharp claws and explosives- what do you have?  
  
FRUGAL: Oh sure! It's always about the equipment, isn't it? It's like you can't be a villain if you don't have expensive gadgets! Well let me tell you something, lady! I may not be the richest villain out there, but I'm just as villainous as you! It's the big-time super-villains like you that are putting mom-and-pop villains like me out of business!  
  
SHEGO: You're married?  
  
FRUGAL: (Beat) Well....no, it's just an expression. The point is, I'm just as evil as you and, because I don't have the expensive gadgets you have, have right-of-way in robbing this bank!  
  
SHEGO: Oh, sure, play the victim! (Activates right-hand glove) I'll give you ten seconds to clear out before I start slicing.  
  
FRUGAL: Ha! What'd you overpay for that cheap weapon?  
  
SHEGO: I made this "cheap weapon" you bargain bad guy!  
  
FRUGAL: Watch it, retail snob! I'm dangerous!  
  
SHEGO: Bring it on, cheapskate!  
  
FRUGAL: Have at you!  
  
SHEGO: Gesundheit!  
  
(SHEGO attacks FRUGAL, but FRUGAL ducks, and SHEGO punches the wall. FRUGAL pulls out a water gun)  
  
FRUGAL: Back off! I have beef bullion!  
  
(SHEGO kicks the gun out of his hand. FRUGAL lunges at her. They fight for several minutes)  
  
(KIM and RON watch all this from across the street)  
  
KIM: Ooo-kay, this is odd.  
  
RON: Yeah. (Pause) So, do we go stop the bank robbery?  
  
KIM: I think they're doing a good job of it themselves.  
  
RON: So, what do we do now?  
  
KIM: I'll call the police and let them take care of it. Then we can go home.  
  
RON: Cool, maybe I can get nachos with Jill when we get back.  
  
KIM: Yeah.  
  
(KIM pulls out her Kimmunicator. WADE appears on the screen)  
  
KIM: Um, Wade, can you get the police to the Second National Bank? We have two villains brawling at the front.  
  
WADE: Consider it done.  
  
(WADE disappears from the screen)  
  
FRUGAL: (OS) Sure, pick on the guy with no money! Classist!  
  
SHEGO: (OS) Will you shut up! Classist my foot! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Take that!  
  
(A kick is heard off screen)  
  
FRUGAL: (OS) Ow!  
  
KIM: Come on, Ron. I think those two can handle themselves.  
  
(KIM and RON leave)  
  
FRUGAL: (OS) Feel the force of beef bullion!  
  
SHEGO: (OS) Hey! I just had this cleaned! That's it! You're dead! 


	6. Denoument

(ESTABLISHING SHOT: Bueno Nacho)  
  
(Cut to the interior. RON and JILL sit at a table. RON is eating a basket of nachos)  
  
RON: (offering nachos) You sure you don't want any?  
  
JILL: I'm fine, thanks.  
  
RON: Thanks for being able to get together at such short notice.  
  
JILL: It's okay. Hockey practice just got out.  
  
RON: Wow. That must have been a long practice!  
  
JILL: I stayed after to work on my slap shot. I can't be hitting innocent fans all the time.  
  
RON: Not unless you were a Hanson brother.  
  
JILL: Yeah. That's just what this town needs.   
  
RON: You have a great laugh.  
  
JILL: Thanks.  
  
RON: So, tell me about yourself.  
  
JILL: Well, my mother's from Chicago. She moved to Jersey about four years ago, and I was born there. She didn't tell me why she moved, but said that she'd tell me later.  
  
RON: So why'd you move to Middleton.  
  
JILL: Well, I was really into hockey, and Middleton had a reputation for having a great hockey team.  
  
RON: It's amazing that our school has such a great hockey team; what's even more amazing is that I didn't even know we had one.  
  
JILL: My old school didn't have one. I used to play hockey on the roof of a convenience store. It was a real problem because I kept hitting the balls off the roof.  
  
RON: I can see where that would cause problems.  
  
JILL: Especially for the people walking around on the street. So, I moved here, and I'm hoping to get to college on a hockey scholarship.  
  
RON: What if that doesn't work out?  
  
JILL: I still have my brain, Ron. I'm not the scarecrow of Oz, you know.  
  
RON: I didn't think you were! I thought you were very smart!  
  
JILL: I know, I'm just kidding with you. I only kid with people I like, and I really like you, Ron.  
  
RON: I'm touched.  
  
(Cut to the street. RON and JILL walk on the sidewalk)  
  
JILL: So how's your sidekick thing going?  
  
RON: It's good. I really enjoy helping Kim help people.  
  
JILL: I'll bet you like traveling, too.  
  
RON: Yeah, that's a big plus. I've traveled all over the world and I'm only a sophomore in High School. I know adults who have never left Middleton.  
  
JILL: What'd you think of Jersey when you went there?  
  
RON: I liked it. I didn't get to see much of it, you know, because I was fighting evil and all, but I thought it was great.  
  
JILL: Yeah, it's a nice place. After a while, though, everybody knows everybody.  
  
RON: What do you mean?  
  
JILL: Well, everyone knows about everyone else. You can connect yourself with people you've never met. For instance, my mom rented an apartment that was next door to these two guys who used to write a comic book. Or, the guy who works at the local Quick Stop has a bunch of relatives who are all over the place. That's how you know everybody, through other people.  
  
RON: Wow. You know, Jill, you're a fascinating person.  
  
JILL: Thanks, Ron.  
  
(There is an awkward pause. RON leans over to kiss JILL, and is about to, when he falls straight through her)  
  
RON: What the?  
  
(RON gets up and dusts himself off. He waves his hand through JILL, who flickers and then returns to a solid shape)  
  
RON: (To himself) A hologram. Wade, you are so dead.  
  
(The image of JILL flickers and turns into WADE)  
  
WADE: Hi, Romeo.  
  
RON: You are toast, Wade. I mean that.  
  
WADE: Sorry, I couldn't resist.  
  
RON: So has this all been a sham? Did you just create Jill so you could toy with me?  
  
WADE: No, she's real. She just happened to be out sick today, so I decided to help you.  
  
RON: Help me? How did you help me?  
  
WADE: Well, you know everything there is to know about her, and you know how to talk to her.  
  
RON: Yeah, I guess you're right. By the way, how did you find out all that information about her?  
  
WADE: I hacked into her old school's computer, the Middleton High computer, ever her diary.  
  
RON: How'd you hack into her diary?  
  
WADE: It's on her computer. And, confidentially, she really likes you.  
  
RON: Really?  
  
WADE: Yeah.  
  
RON: Well, thanks, Wade. I guess.  
  
WADE: No problem. I've got to go. See you later, and good luck with the real Jill.  
  
RON: See you, Wade.  
  
(WADE vanishes)  
  
(Cut to Middleton High School)  
  
(Cut to the hallway. KIM stands at her locker, looking off screen. RON walks up to her)  
  
KIM: And?  
  
RON: She said yes. She'll go out for nachos.  
  
KIM: Good. Now, are you sure that she's real?  
  
RON: Yes.  
  
KIM: Just making sure.  
  
RON: So how'd that thing in Pennsylvania turn out?  
  
KIM: Good. They were both jailed overnight.  
  
RON: Only overnight?  
  
KIM: They didn't actually do anything. They couldn't hold them.  
  
RON: Huh.  
  
(Beat)  
  
KIM: I would love to have seen your face when you realized she was a hologram.  
  
RON: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not mention that ever again, okay?  
  
KIM: Okay.  
  
(KIM and RON walk off)  
  
(Fade to black)  
  
The End. 


End file.
